Ashley and David Behrens

Can You Do Me A Favor?

2011-12-05T22:58:00.005-07:00

A few days after his seventh birthday A.J. asked, "Mom, when Raelynn turns 7, how old will I be?" I looked at him and refused to answer. Gulp.

Never have the years flown by so fast. When A.J. was little I rarely thought about school. It seemed like so far away. When he started preschool, I took a deep breath and accepted it. When he started Kindergarten, I teared up the first time he ran into his classroom on his own while I watched from the car. The first week of first grade I missed him while he was gone all day and couldn't wait until he got home. FIRST GRADE? How did he get to be in first grade? My head is spinning!

When Raelynn turns seven, A.J. will be a mere 12 days away from being fourteen!! Ugh, it makes my stomach tighten up. Those next seven years are going to go by so fast and it's not that I'm scared to have a 14 year old. (Yes, I know I should be, but let's not get into that) It's that I'm terrified that I am now SO caught up in how fast this time is going to fly by, that I'm scared I am not going to enjoy it. I went to lunch today with a friend (one of our old neighbors and Jessah's preschool teacher from last year) so our 3 year olds could play while the older kids were at school. I asked when registration was for preschool so that I could choose Glaiden's schedule and we got to talking. Angie pointed out that because Glaiden's birthday is in October, he won't start preschool until 2013... not 2012. (I will just do one year for him like I did with A.J. and Jessah) He will start Kindergarten in 2014. When A.J. is in 4th grade. :( I'm so caught up in not missing a registration for something that I almost forced my 3 year old to grow up too soon! I was glad Angie said something about it because it made me realize I need to slow down a little.

Glaiden is just barely 3. Still a baby. Maybe because he is so smart and so much like his big brother and sister I feel like he isn't a baby anymore. I feel like he could start preschool next year and then go into Kindergarten (at four years old). Ha! No thanks. I want to hold on to him as long as possible. (Most days) Poor Raelynn is just going to have to fight tooth and nail to get out of my grip. I am just getting started in this parenting thing and I like it. I'm not ready for them to grow up...

Now for the favor....Will someone please just slow time down a little? I'm having a little trouble catching my breath.

Introducing...

2011-08-26T13:50:00.012-06:00

Raelynn Mary Behrens! Born August 22, 2011 at 6:06 PM. 8 lbs, 21.5 inches long and perfect!

It's probably not news to anyone at this point that she is here, but I still have to brag! It gives me a reason to post her pretty picture!

The labor story is a colorful one. For those of you like me, who like to feel no pain during labor. I guess I'm proud of myself, but I don't think there was much of a choice in the matter. Raelynn was born natural with her mommy screaming the entire time. Poor kid.

My water broke and like usual, my contractions wouldn't start. I don't know what it is, but my body just doesn't go into full labor on it's own. The nurses started me on the pitocin and we were on our way. I was contracting pretty steadily, but not as fast as I had in previous labors. The contractions got intense, but nothing unbearable. Due to my intense fear of needles and catheters, I postponed the epidural until the nurse told me I had about 20 or so minutes left to decide if I wanted it. I wanted it... so I told her, "OK. Call him in then, because I KNOW I want it."

Note the hand holding onto the bed... the contractions hurt, but I was still doing ok. This is right before I told the nurse I wanted the epidural.

I swear Raelynn heard me and thought to herself, "Uh... no. No way are you gonna do this without remembering it Mama!"

I had to push. NOW. The anesthesiologist gave me a syringe full of the epidural after he got done fighting me to hold still for it. I started going numb at my toes and was numb up to my mid-thigh when Raelynn made her debut. Lovely.

Not really.

Kudos to you moms that can do that. On purpose. But you're all freaking crazy! No. Thank. You. The recovery was fantastic, I will admit that. Not worth the delivery in my wimpy opinion. No way.

But I love her. She was definitely worth every second of ear piercing screaming. (Poor husband) She's a good baby with a good set of pipes when she wants to. She cries to eat and when she needs to burp, but that's it. She's bright eyed and she makes me smile. Even when she cries for food. :)

The other kids are great with her. Particularly the boys. Jessah is still waiting for her to talk and crawl and play. Apparently she wants a roommate now. She wasn't anticipating the baby part of her sister... just the playmate part. Oops! Bad preparation by me!

Jessah holding her future roomie for the first time!

Glaiden was really unsure of her while we were in the hospital. I think it was because I couldn't go home with him and it was because I needed to stay with the baby. A jealousy thing. But he's awesome now that we're home. (AND HE'S STARTED POTTY TRAINING!! Because (in his words) "I'm a big brotha now and I need unda-ware like A.J.) YES!!! I am loving it!

Glaiden before his interest in being a "big brotha."

Finally decided he wanted to see her a little closer. Not so much in front of the camera though.

A.J. adores our newest addition. There's no other way to describe it. He loves to hold her and just stare at her. He soothes her if she grunts and moves in her sleep and talks to her when she is awake. He's an awesome older brother.

A.J. and his new pride and joy. I love this picture.

David was a little nervous about another girl but he is in love. She is his "Little Lady" or "sweetheart." And she loves to snuggle on his chest. It soothes her and puts her to sleep if she's upset. I love seeing them together.

There's our little update. Sorry it's late... I'm struggling with a routine still. Ahem. Ok... I'm just lazy and I get distracted super easily. Yeah, this 4 kid thing is going to be an adventure!!!!

I Can't Wait...

2011-08-05T12:33:00.005-06:00

The last few weeks of pregnancy are by far the longest. While you're living them of course. As soon as the baby arrives it seems as if it was yesterday you found out you were pregnant. But I'm living them and the weeks seem to be passing quickly, it's the days that drag. It's hot and I'm pretty much stuck in the house when David is at work. Don't get me wrong, the summer has been busy and fun-filled, but the week days seem to be getting longer. I only have about 2 1/2 weeks left of carrying this little bundle inside of me (the Dr. agreed to induce me at 39 weeks due to home life getting extremely hectic the week of our due date) which is awesome! The last couple of days, however, have mysteriously doubled in length and it's got me thinking about things I am excited for. Yes, I wanted to add another [girl] to the family, but I loathe being pregnant this go around. I'm not quite sure why... I've been healthy (minus the first few months of miserable morning sickness), happy, busy, productive and organized... but I was ready to not be pregnant a long time ago. I wanted the stork to bring this baby. I'm done after Raelynn makes her debut, and I've never been more sure of anything. Here are some of the things I can't wait for:

I can't wait to complete this perfect family of mine... and I mean perfect.

I can't wait to hold my precious new daughter.

I can't wait for the other kids to meet and fall in love with their baby sister.

I can't wait to watch my amazing husband fall in love with her.

I can't wait to dress her up.

I can't wait to put her to sleep.

I can't wait to wake up and feed her when the house is silent.

I can't wait to snuggle her and see her daddy and siblings snuggle her.

I can't wait to go back to work just to get a little bit of adult interaction.

I can't wait to miss my four kids while I'm at work.

I can't wait to fit into normal clothes again.

I can't wait to come home to David and Raelynn snuggled up together.

I can't wait to give ALL of my maternity clothes away. Fooorreeeeveeerr. (In my best Sandlot voice)

I. Can. Not. Wait!

Yellowstone

2011-07-26T15:12:00.008-06:00

Ignore the shadow over my face and the 7 1/2 month belly.

We did it! It only took David 29 years and myself 26 years, but we finally made our first trip to Yellowstone! We decided quite a while ago that we wanted to plan a real family vacation for a week to the national park, and in March we made our reservations at the campground for our trip in July. After trying to book one that was actually in the park, and failing, we made our reservation at Rainbow Point Campground in West Yellowstone. (About 10 miles from the West Entrance.) We booked side by side spots for Grandma and Grandpa Jensen and ourselves and invited some friends of ours to tent camp in our spots. The weather was fantastic most of the time with only a little bit of rain here and there. We walked to the lake a couple of days and just enjoyed our time away. Here's a few pictures...

Cool stump where we camped at Hebgen Lake.

Lower Falls = BEAUTIFUL

My honey and I. Grandma and Grandpa Jensen. We were so glad they got to go with us!

Our friend Ricky and David's brother James.

Buffalo kindly reminding us that this was his territory. Not ours.

We wore Glaiden out after the first day in the Park.

Caution: Don't forget a stroller when you take a 2 1/2 year old to Yellowstone. Dad will get tired.
The Grizzly we got to see trying to cross the river at Fishing Bridge. He got caught in the current and went right under our feet. There's no zoom on this picture... probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen!

My boys catching some sun after playing in the lake. (Dave ignored my sunscreen warning and looked like a lobster for a few days.)

Glaiden letting A.J. and Jessah test the water for him.

34 Weeks.... And Counting

2011-07-20T16:25:00.003-06:00

I want to post about our Yellowstone trip but Blogger is being weird uploading my pictures. So I though I would put up a small update about Baby Girl. :)

Today I'm 34 weeks and 2 days. I know this sounds absolutely horrible, but I hate being pregnant. Hate it. I actually dislike it more this round than I ever have before. I am sure the heat has a little to do with it, but this last week I've been drinking more and more water... to find out that it now causes horrible heartburn. Ugh!!! But we're almost there! I was having a really hard time figuring out what we were going to do about the first couple weeks of school because I am due the day before Jessah starts Kindergarten. I told the doctor that I was getting more and more stressed about it so he suggested that if everything looks okay, then he will induce me the week before. *sigh* It really took a huge load off. I also got a chance to talk with a great lady in our ward that is going to help get Jessah to school in the afternoons and then the kids will all walk home together. Another huge relief! The biggest sigh of relief is that in about 5 weeks our family will be complete! I can't wait to meet this little girl and hold her and welcome her to our lives.

A Non-Baby Post (because I am actually bored and 3 kids are napping!)

2011-04-20T12:48:00.005-06:00

That's right. Technically, anyway. I am babysitting a little boy that is Glaiden's age today and both of them are asleep with Jessah peacefully watching the Disney Channel. My house is clean... I mean C.L.E.A.N. Not to brag (too much) but I had it done by 11:30. When I fed them lunch. Before A.J. had to be to school. Not after school... yes, they usually get lunch at 2:30-3:00. I know, I suck. But not today!!! I have done dishes, swept, mopped, vacuumed, made beds AND folded laundry. I may be sick, but I'll take it. This is all after yesterday when I went into the office/soon to be nursery and went through all of our baby stuff to do away (donate, toss, and hand down) all of the boy clothes, shoes and coats that don't fit Glaiden. I also cleaned out our bathroom cupboard. (I call it a pantry because there are 3 big shelves, and 4 drawers) I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but to give you an idea of the crap that was in there, I now have 1 empty shelf and 3 empty drawers. It was a challenge. I am on a roll! (I am only bragging because it might last for another day or two, and then it won't happen again. Probably ever.) I have to record this monumental occasion to prove that sometimes, I make an awesome stay-at-home mom. :)

One other feel-good thing: AJ has finally completed his fluency folder at school and is starting on books. A lot of other kids have started on books before he did, but he also was folder-less for 2 weeks because it got lost. So he is right on track...ish. When his teacher tested him to see what books he needs to be bringing home, she told me she had to give him the AR test (accelerated reading). Today, he is bringing home a THIRD GRADE level book! Ahh!!! I'm so proud of him! Can I also ask if any of you other parents are intimidated by your kids? I mean, if he is that advanced now.... what am I in for in the future? Whoa.

Jessah is doing really well in preschool too. She loves her teachers. So do I. One of her teachers used to be our neighbor (behind us) and it's really nice to still be in touch with her. Jessah loves telling me what she has learned about each day. She's so sweet.

Glaiden... yikes. For those of you soon-to-be-first-time-moms. I'm going to let you in on a secret. Everyone tries to warn you about the Terrible Two's. Ha! It's a myth! It doesn't exist! Until about 6-12 months later. Threes are bad. And Glaiden is just getting started. He corrects David constantly. Half of the time, we don't know what it is exactly that he's correcting, but, let it be known... Glaiden is right! He is such a smart kid and talks all. of. the. time. Its hard to get him to stop. He also loves to sing. Sometimes its the ABC's or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Other times it's Lady Antebellum's I Need You Now, or (I owe this to my 9 year old sister) Sir Mix A Lot's I Like Big Butts. He doesn't know much of that one. (THANK HEAVEN!) But he sings it like this, "I like big butts....'ninolie" (aka, and I no lie... just one word instead of four). It's kind of funny actually.

In other news.... not much. Working. A little. Hopefully I will be busier this summer to help with maternity leave, but we'll see. I need to seriously figure something out though. Our neighbors (not the ones behind us, but next door) offically moved out of their house on Saturday. I wasn't the best neighbor but we're really going to miss them. We miss both of our neighbors, but hopefully we'll be able to stay in touch. When I first moved in with David we were all pregnant right around the same time. (all within the year anyway) This time, we're all pregnant and due within 3 months of eachother! That makes them not living close, a little more sad. But they are all doing really well and we really, really wish them the absolute best!

Ok, that was my first, non-baby post in a long time. Hopefully there will be more to come, but you (I) never know. It comes in spurts. :)

Oh, P.S.
Can all of you do me a favor and THINK SPRING! Maybe, sometime, eventually, before Christmas, it will warm up a little!

Update!

2011-04-16T22:25:00.003-06:00

So here's the update! We (and when I say we, I really mean that my friend/boss easily convinced my husband at dinner one night and I was suckered into it because it was David's birthday thing-a-ma-jig) decided to have David's birthday party the Saturday after his birthday and have, what some may call, a "Gender Cake" for the birthday cake. What's a gender cake you ask? I'll tell you. When you go into your ultrasound appointment you tell the technician that you do not want to know what the gender of the baby is... that day anyway. (WAY harder to do, and you can only do this with, what I found was, incredible willpower) You tell the tech that, instead of telling you, you want him/her to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope, along with any pictures that might give away the gender. Then you take said envelope to a local bakery and explain to them that you want a cake made to reveal the gender of your baby - pink or blue - but frosted as a regular cake (in our case a birthday cake that said "Happy Birthday David") You throw a party with your family and closest friends (if i were you, I'd skip the dinner part. If you don't, time definitely d r a g s) and when you cut the cake, it's either pink or blue! Its really a blast to have your favorite people around and all find out together! Extremely hard to wait the extra couple of days though... I was anxious!!! Oh, to the good part.We cut the cake, and.............................

!!!!! IT'S A GIRL !!!!!

To be fair, I did have an incredible feeling that I had a little girl in my belly. I know that it's just a feeling. But, with 3 kids - I hadn't been wrong about those feelings yet. Not everyone has those inklings, but I am one of the lucky ones I guess. We are so excited. Jessah was almost in tears because she was so happy. SO SO SO SO happy! It was the sweetest thing to see.

I've been feeling much better too. Except for the exhaustion. I keep saying that I don't remember being this tired with my other pregnancies, only to realize that that's probably because I didn't have 3 other kids I was chasing around and taking to school. I am so tired all of the time, and working evenings isn't helping much. I love my job, but I'm freaking beat!

Oh yeah, the due date is August 29th. Perfect since it is about a week before A.J.'s birthday and a little over a month from when we are going to Yellowstone this summer! Ha ha! The worst part is that it's the exact week that school starts and, because A.J. will be in first grade and Jessah in Kindergarten, someone has to be at the elementary school 3 times a day. Ugh. Time to call in reinforcements!!!!! :)

From Pepsi to Coke???

2011-01-12T13:38:00.006-07:00

Good thing I didn't make any promises on my last post eh? Geeze, I stink at being a consistent blogger. Oh well.

January 2nd we got some BIG news here in the Behrens' home. Baby #4 (4th and final might I add) is on it's way!!!!!!!!!! With being pregnant, there's millions of questions that follow... I'll try to answer a few. :)

How far along am I? Umm, we're not sure just yet. From what I know for sure, I'm at least 6 weeks. The doctors only ask you one question to determine your due date, and the answer to that question isn't as clear as I'd like it to be and could put me at 6 1/2 weeks, due September 3rd (AJ's birthday). BUT... when I gave the answer to that question to the doctors when I was pregnant with AJ, I should have only been about 4 weeks... and I was 11 weeks (yes, almost into my second trimester!) I've been feeling nauseaus, blah and tired on and off for about 3 weeks and some other factors point to me being closer to 10 weeks, putting the due date at August 7th. But we'll find out soon enough. Dr. appointments start next week. :)

Congrats?? Yes! Congrats to us! As crazy as it sounds to some, we planned baby number 4. And actually, I kind of hoped it would come 6 or more months ago. I wanted Glaiden and this baby to be closer in age than 3 years apart. AJ and Jessah were 17 months and to me, it was perfect! 3 years apart is good, but its the absolute furthest apart I wanted my children. And I've always wanted 4 kids. :) 26 years old and done? YES! I like it!

Why didn't we wait to announce? Some people say to wait until about 12 or so weeks to announce. Understandable because of the rate of miscarriage (under 10 weeks pregnant,25% chance of miscarriage). Some people wait because if they announce the pregnancy too soon, then miscarry, they don't want to have to explain what happened to everyone. Completely understand that. That's just not how we feel about it. We feel that I was lucky enough to have 3 healthy, normal, full term pregnancies. The pregnancy test was positive. I'm young. I don't smoke. I never drink while pregnant, and when I'm not pregnant and I do drink, I am 110% responsible about it. And I hate feeling sick and tired and if I complain about it too much, I hate having to lie to people about such a good thing! If, Heaven forbid, I do miscarry, I will be devastated... but I have fantastic people in my life who would understand and be there for me. Enough said! :)

How am I feeling? Ha! Um... nauseaus, tired, blah, sick. Ick. Worse than I remember with other preganacies. (There's something magical about being a mother... as soon as a child is born, everything you went through during pregnancy and labor and sleepless nights - is insignificant. You don't remember how miserable you actually felt.) I had morning sickness with my other kids, but I remember it being bad in the morning and then that was it. I don't start feeling up to anything until about 4:00 pm this go-around. It sucks. I toss and turn at night, don't want to eat, but when I start, I eat like it's been a week. My stomach is constantly growling and hungry yet nothing sounds delicious. And the absolute worst thing so far (yes, I know that's dramatic) I have (had) a severe addiction to Pepsi. Caffine is a big part of that, but it's mostly Pepsi itself. Now? EW!! It tastes flat! Coke tastes better. And Coke is a dirty word in this house. :(

Do we have a boy/girl prefrence? Not really. I would like for Jessah to have a sister. I think it would be really great for her. AJ wants a sister because it makes a pattern in our family. Boy, girl, boy, girl... :) Jessah wants a sister. Glaiden... ha. He isn't sure what's going on yet. And David wants a boy, just because boys are easier. Either way we will be thrilled and happy to have him/her in our life!

Thanks again for all of the congratulations and well wishes. I'll try my hardest to give the milestone updates. :)

"Belly Hurt...Belly Hurt Weally Bad Mom!"

2010-09-08T23:43:00.005-06:00

Sad sick baby. He's been throwing up all day. No fever, no ear aches or new teeth (that I know of)... just throwing up. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. So for the little while he is asleep I thought I would change up the blog a little and say hi.

Hi.

David's hunting and I miss him so much. Is that clingy? I try not to be. I know he loves his hunting season. He looks forward to it all year. It's just with him working Monday through Friday 8-5 and me working the nights/weekends he's home... we don't see eachother. It sucks and I really miss him. I cried a little when he left today, and I'm still sad.

Man, I'm in the pitty me mode tonight huh? Blah.

I love David. More than I did yesterday or the day before that. I'm glad that he has a good job and that I do too. I'm thrilled that, very rarely, do I have to find a babysitter for my kids when I go to work. I'm lucky to have a husband who is willing to stay with kids on one of my only nights off during the week so I can go to Zumba or even, on occasion, a movie and dessert with some girlfriends. My boys have a great dad who takes them camping for some boy time while Jessah and I curl up in bed with ice cream and watch "Mama Mia" together. The kids have a dad that cooks dinner for them almost every night because mom has been working so many nights that she barely knows how to cook anymore!

That makes me feel better. To know what I have and to put it into words. I think we all have those days where we feel like the world is conspiring against us. He's going hunting, the baby's sick, I need a sitter for Friday so I can go to work while he's gone, there's laundry to do, books to read, chore charts to check off, animals to feed, and dishes to be done. But look at what I have! Are you kidding? I feel dumb for even posting this, but I'm doing it anyway to have something to come back and look at when this mood rears its ugly head again. (because it has a habit of coming back.)

Anyway, thanks for listening to my pity party. :) Good night!

Harsh Reality Check

2010-04-17T09:20:00.004-06:00

Never in my life have I had a nightmare that woke me up in pure panic.

Maybe it's because David is always so nervous about what Glaiden puts in his mouth. Maybe it's because I take for granted how healthy and happy my children are. Is it God's way of saying, "Your husband isn't over reacting... you are under reacting. Pay more attention or this very well COULD happen to you." Maybe it was just a nightmare for no absolute reason.... but none the less....I woke up bawling, hyperventilating and completely 100% grateful that my baby was Okay, sound asleep in his crib. Still breathing.

Dream:

You know how dreams are. Even if they are ones that seem completely viable... they're never quite real. I was teaching something somewhere to some strangers... I think it was a group of my previous teachers from high school... who knows why. I thought it looked like we were in the lounge of the restaurant that I work at (and was at until 11:00 last night) but at one point it turned into a huge stadium. Again, who knows why. Anyway, in the middle of my "lesson", a secretary comes and tells me that I have to go home. Now. I tell her that I only have a minute left and to tell my husband I will be there as soon as I can. She says, "I think you really need to go, they said this was an emergency." She looked at the message that, apparently, someone else had given to her and her eyes grew wide and the color from her face drained. I snatched the paper from her glanced and saw the words "baby" and "choked" and "can't" and "not breathing" and ran outside... or into the stadium I guess. (I just thought of it. Maybe it's because we were talking about the county fair and rodeo at work last night. - Rodeo - Stadium - makes sense to me) I grab a police officer and tell him I need a ride home NOW as I shoved the scribbled message into his hands. He grabs me by the arm, I think to hold me up, and rushes me to his car. He calls for an ambulance to get there and then starts asking all kinds of ridiculous questions as we're racing home and I can't think..."JUST GET ME HOME!"

I finally see the ambulance lights and I think I jumped out of the car before he stopped it. I run to the house, trip on something of course (this is how real this nightmare seemed) and I see a paramedic, David leaning over my youngest baby boy... and the last thing I see is them sit up and I see Glaiden (Not a dream Glaiden... it was him. Fingernails-filled-with-dirt-from-the-park Glaiden) gray and lifeless. And I wake up. My heart was pounding, I start hyperventilating, sobbing hysterically and I can't calm down. I even go into his room and feel his chest to make sure he's still breathing. I woke David up with my sobs and he tried to calm me down, but he didn't really get it. He said, "It's okay, Honey... it was only a dream. He's okay." and all I can think is that I SAW HIM that way. I saw him lifeless. Helpless. And I didn't even get to see if we saved him.

Who dreams things like that?! I'm still mad. Throughout the day today, nothing that little boy does irritates me in the slightest. I'm SO happy to be able to know that it was a nightmare, and that he's laughing and playing Red Rover with his big brother and sister. But still. That image won't leave my mind. I cry when it pops into my head still. I cry while I write this, but I write it hoping that it will make me realize that I shouldn't be so upset. It was just a dream. Well, nightmare. Buy I'm still upset by it. Nothing is working to calm me down. I feel like it wasn't fair that I had to dream that. I can't control my dreams.... so who does? And what kind of a cruel joke was that?

I am so grateful to have 3 healthy, beautiful, happy children. I take them for granted sometimes I think. Maybe that's what it was for. Maybe I was losing my patience all too often and this was my "Chill out! Things can be way worse you know." moment. That worked. Today I'm calm, but sad for those that have lost children, or gone through things that no parent should have to endure. It's not fair. They are so innocent.

So for now, I am going to take this gorgeous day and go outside and play with my babies. Push them on the swings if they want pushed and play in the dirt.

Here's How I Feel About It

2010-03-25T13:58:00.006-06:00

My husband probably cooks more than 50% of the dinners in our house. He does 90% of the yard work, 0% of the laundry... ok, maybe 10%, about 50% of putting kids to bed, 20% of the diaper changes and about 25-30% of the other cleaning around here.

That leaves me doing less than 50% of our dinners, about 10% of the yard work, 50% of the laundry (I know that doesn't add up to 100% of laundry being done. Did you read the last post? Folding doesn't happen very often). I put the kids to bed 50% of the time and do about 70-75% of the other cleaning. He works 40+ (sometimes +++) hours a week. I work anywhere from 15-20 hours a week. I make $3.50 an hour. He makes almost 5 times what I make.

We are both, very happy with this arrangement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So being completely lazier than I should be today, I was taking a look at KSL.com. You know, just browsing around, seeing if there was anything happy to report, funny news, blah, blah, blah. Really, just browsing. I came across a report that shows a study of working mothers having a lower self-esteem because they're not in the home with their children as much as they "should" be. Then it linked to this MSNBC story saying that working mothers are resentful? BAHHH! Here is why it REALLY pushes my buttons. And I'm even a (mostly) stay-at-home mom.

First of all, didn't women push and shove and scream and yell and pull hair to get equal rights? Did we not (even recently, if I'm not mistaken) whine and moan about not being treated equally in the workplace?

Now normally -like if I'm having an "argument" with my husband about me changing my mind all of the time- I'd say "What can I say? We're women." But truth be told, that's not really an excuse for our behavior.

(Disclaimer: it still ALWAYS applies if you are trying to pick out an outfit/shoes/jewelry/or pretty girl nail polish, or want to win an argument with your significant other).

Anyway, I must be missing the point because I really don't think that having a family means having Dad come home, sit on his rear, ask what's for dinner, tell the kids to be quiet because he's watching "his" show, and then say "Goodnight kids, I love you. Hey, Honey? Can you grab me another beer?" Nope, not on your life... Honey.

Honestly, I am more than happy most of the nights that I am at work because I know my husband and father to my children is more than capable to make dinner, feed the kids, clean them up and put them in clean jammies, having them clean up after themselves (the majority of the time) and putting them to bed. Sometimes he even lets them pick a movie from the Netflix instant queue and sits with them to watch a movie... yeah, he's an awesome Dad - and partner for that matter.

So back to the, um, studies... are women bitching just to bitch? There's single moms out there who work their arses off to provide for themselves and their children. Why don't you ask them if they would feel more depressed to have some help. I doubt it. I've been there. It sucked to have zero help. I have seen all sides of this spectrum too. I was married to AJ and Jessah's dad for a mere 2 1/2 years and worked and recieved very little help from him. Not only did I not get the help that I needed, but neither did the kids. It was miserable just so you all know. After that lovely experience (lovely being sarcastic, but did you see what I got outta that deal?? Nothing could be better)

... Ha ha! I love them!

Oh yeah, back to the point. After that, ahem, expierience, and a few other no-need-to-mention expieriences, I moved to Logan with my two kids and nothing else, a ghetto apartment on the "bad" block of Logan, where my neighbors fought all of the time, my roof looked like it would fall down on top of us, and I was sleeping on a air mattress that I had to re-inflate every night because it didn't hold air very well. I woke up in the mornings, got my self ready, woke up my 2 children, took them to an amazing day-care that the state paid for (all but $400 worth per month), worked anywhere from 7-8:00AM to 5-6:00 PM. Went to the store usually after work usually just to wander, because the less amount of time I had to be at home, the better. Came home, bathed kids, watched a movie with them on the floor because we had one glider chair and no other furniture in our family room, and then put them to bed. Repeat that Monday through Friday. On the weekends, I drove to my parents' house in Ogden because I didn't have anything else to really do that could keep me out of the apartment. I hated it. HATED it. But I did it. I did it all by myself until David came into my life.

I love this man right here.

This is what a husband should be. A best friend. A partner to debate with. Someone to cry to. Someone to pick on. Someone to help. Someone who doesn't expect me to do anything, besides be there for him and the kids. And at the same time, I don't expect him to do anything either. We share our responsibilites. We share our life. I am very lucky, I know, but if women have a husband like mine.... you're lucky too. No reason to be bummed. Really. It's worse without him.

I AM LUCKY

Really? Yeah, Really.

2010-03-15T16:09:00.009-06:00

The idea for this post has been floating around in my head for a week (scratch that, two weeks now - and I really need to not procrastinate anymore but I'll get to that later.) I kind of put it off because it was a Monday and I thought Oh relax. It's just an off day... that's all. I was pretty upset when Monday rolled around again this week... Seriously? Another one? I decided that it's not an off day... it's how Monday's for mom's are supposed to be.

Moms. I love being a mom. I don't mind any of my Mom names: mom, mommy, mamamamama, or just mama. MMMOOOOOMMMM gets annoying once in a while, but I'm getting used to it.

The gist. I have come to the point of being a mom where I finally took a deep breath and said, "Roll with it, because this is just what it is." What's the it you ask? It is motherhood. Of course it's fantastic, rewarding, thrilling, exciting, busy, and all in all, amazing. But. (Yes, there's a but.) It can also be depressing, annoying, disappointing, dramatic, sad, exhausting, and disgusting. Even if you don't want it to be that way - to bad, so sad, Charlie. We are not perfect and therefore, cannot raise our kids to be perfect.

Well, perfect is the wrong word, I think. Raising children is definitely a day-to-day challenge. It doesn't always work as well as we'd like. Or as smoothly as we'd like it to for that matter.

Example(s) that every mom needs to admit, and that every future mom should expect:

Did I ever in a billion lifetimes think that MY kid would be that whiny? Nope. I won't give him/her a reason to be.

Did I ever think that I would let my daughter have out of control hair when we went to the store? Ha ha. NO. I was always good at doing hair. I love it. I have some super cute ways to do hair. I sometimes even shook my head when mothers went shopping and their daughters' hair wasn't done. How hard is it? Really?
I'm really sorry for that, by the way. I understand now.

Did I ever think that my kids would be in pants that were a little bit too short? Um, negative. Do you know how fast they grow? Do you know how fast that $$ adds up?

Did I ever in a million-trillion years think that I would lose my cool like MY mom did* when I did something wrong?** No. Not me. I didn't like it, so why would I do that?
*when you're little - your mom loses her cool. When you are a mom and you look back. You think - wow, how did she put up with me?
**as in something she told me over and over and over again not to do because of such and such a reason and I did it anyway. Probably repeatedly. Sorry Mom.

Did I think that I would make wrong decisions? Well...probably. I thought that things would come to me naturally though. It would be hard, but I'd think before I acted. Oops.

Do I like the fact that I have zero capability to keep the laundry folded at all times? No, as a matter of fact, I wish I liked folding laundry, but I don't. In fact it's more often than not that my laundry is out on my coffee table, in my living room, unfolded. If you really expect to be in a spotless home when you come over, give me a warning that you're on your way and a heads up that you don't want to see my unfolded (albiet clean) laundry in my family room and dirty dishes in the sink and I will give it a good go, but I can't promise anything.

Did I think that I'd be in the store with my 18 month old and a gross nose? No, but if you want to hear the blood curtling scream while you use the strenght of 10 men to hold his head still and pick the mess out of his nose so it stops running and looking gross for the 5 seconds that you look at my son - have a go, but if you break his neck trying to hold him still - I will break yours.

Did I think that my 4 year old wouldn't be potty trained at 4? No. As far as I was concerned, they'd have it down at 18 months. 2 years at the oldest. Ahahahahaha!

Is life really unfair? Is there really a rule that can exempt you because "You're the mom?" YEP. There sure is. It's called the sanity rule. Kids are to eat cereal or a real breakfast in the morning. Sometimes doughnuts and poptarts and leftover pizza are ok. But only mom's and dad's are allowed to eat brownies, cake or cookies for their breakfast. Because we're the parents... that's why.

- P*A*U*S*E - Baby emergency. AKA He's not going to bed like my 18 month old should. He needs mom to rock him to sleep - still. So what?

-P*L*A*Y - Next Morning. So he slept in my bed until 3 AM. Did I want him to? No. Did I need him to? YES. Momma needs her sleep.

Sorry folks, that was the procrastinating that I talked about in the first part of my little schpeel. I get distracted and it takes a bit to get back to what I was trying to do. It happens. I thought that even with kids, I'd be able to get things done on time. That one was just bad judgement. I have always been a procrastinator... that's a hard habit to outgrow even, er, I mean especially with kids.

And for my most miserable Mom Moment... (Yes - you'll get them - and I know this wasn't my last) Remember this miserably long post?? Read the last paragraph of that novel and know that once - maybe even twice... ahem... in one day, you will lose a child. If you don't... feel very blessed. As easy as it is, and as innocent as it usually will be, it is by far one of the worst, most unbearable point as a parent to not know where your child is... but it happens!

We're not perfect. We can't stop every bad thing that might happen. We can't always make them get along with other kids. Sometimes they won't say please or thank you. They will draw (with pen, crayons and/or marker - sometimes permanent on your somewhat new and pretty and always clean (hahaha) furniture/walls/doors/back of the seat in the truck and themselves. They'll hang from a tree with every little ounce of strength that they have when they've been told, and told and told again that that's probably not the safest tree to climb. They will nap when you don't want them to and then be awake all night some nights. They will sleep in your bed when you swore to yourself they never would and cry just because - just like we do. They'll fight, hit, bite, yell, say they hate you and stomp down the stairs and yes, (you were right Mom and Dad) it is an attitude, and it is NOT ok. Even when they're little.

Always remember though, Mom... that when they are hanging from that tree, or calling your name in the park, they are calling YOUR name. They need you. They are looking for MOM and for comfort that you bring to them. Even after you yell at them or put them in time out. It's amazing... Being a mom. Kids are so forgiving for all of the small mistakes that we make. (And there's a lot of them)

As mom's, we need to remember that there are going to be hundreds of thousands of times in the years that we raise kids (and I've only been doing it for 5 1/2 years, ugh) that we will make mistakes, jump to wrong conclusions (and never admit that they were the wrong one), lose you're cool, and completely lose your common sense. Sometimes, you will probably want to go to work instead of stay home with your kids. (Just admit it. It's really, really, really okay.... there's times you miss the adult conversations). Sometimes you just want a day to yourself. Sometimes you need to lock yourself in the bedroom for 5 (possibly 15) minutes and re-teach yourself how to breathe. It's ok. Promise. I'm not crazy, I think I'm just writing what every mom thinks once in a while. (Probably more than that, but you can tell yourself once in a while if you want)

I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. The kids aren't perfect. This life just isn't perfect. But I'm pretty sure that it's not supposed to be. Wouldn't it be boring? We'd have no emotion. We would get excited about having all the laundry done. We wouldn't be happy when the kids went to bed on time. We wouldn't need vacations, or romantic weekends...Just so you know, I like vacations. I like them so much that I have a mini one every night that I go to work. It's a break from my reality and it's good for me. I like romantic weekends with my husband and no kids. I didn't marry him for the kids. I married him for me and them. Sometimes I want him all to myself and I'm pretty sure that that is okay.

Remember that it's all part of being a mom.

It's Only March

2010-03-02T23:57:00.006-07:00

Ok, so it's March 2nd... technically the 3rd (it's exactly 12:00 AM as I start this post - David is currently snoring next to me, preventing any idea of sleep that I had). From now on, I am making absolutely no promises on when my next post will be... Apparently I'm not the best at keeping those promises and, frankly, I don't want to be thought of as the girl who brakes her promises. :)

My last post was about Glaiden's first haircut. Ha! There's been a couple more since then, and I hate giving them. He was fabulous that first haircut and that's probably why I posted a blog about it. You know, the proud mom... "He was SO good!". Yeah, that was totally for the camera... NOT the way it is now.

Anyway, that was October 2nd... As for the rest of October,the Little Man turned one, It was a somewhat relaxing month filled with a lot of family time. The neglected blog posts for that month probably would have included a few more pictures of the birthday boy and his cake, a post about going to Boo at the Zoo with Krystal, Brett, Berk, Holli, and Heather, and Halloween of course!

November and December were amazing months. We did our first Thanksgiving at our house this year! That was definitely a BIG deal and it turned out AMAZING! Thanks so much to everyone that came. It was so awesome! The biggest news of '09 came the day after Thanksgiving though... No, no Black Friday shopping this year.. David and I decided to get married on December 30th! A month to plan a wedding?!?! A month with my birthday, then Christmas and then a wedding.. hahaha! I laugh when I think of the whirlwind it was. Thanks so much to my family, Krystal, Holli and my wonderful neighbors for all of their help. It was definitely crazy, but it made sense to us, and I've become a HUGE believer in the idea that if it's meant to happen... things will work out for you. SO TRUE! The planning went relatively smooth and without having swatches of colors for clothes, or any real idea of the exact colors we really wanted, everything came together perfectly! I found the perfect dress with just one stop at David's Bridal. We found matching suits for both of the boys, an amazing flower dress for Jessah (and Mesia got the same one for Christmas! So I got to have TWO flower girls!) My mom, Lana came to Utah the week after my birthday and was going to be here without making a second trip... I mean really? Everything literally fell into place! I still get a huge grin on my face when I think of how amazing it was!

In between the wedding madness came Christmas. My family was thrilled by a surprise visit from my brother Kaesey who is serving in Iraq for a second time. We weren't expecting him until March! We did the crazy Christmas that is ridiculously busy, but it's our tradition and we love it! My kids, like most kids, were completely spoiled and loved every second of it. I've never seen them sleep SO well!

New Year's was spent at home with my husband. I still love the sound of that. January flew by. My sweet Jessah turned 4 (going on 14). And that was January... Wow. Productive, eh?

February... I started working at a restaurant part-time for some extra $$ and a little away time with some grown-ups. Staying at home is super rewarding, but I needed a change I guess and the little bit of income really helps us out.

The kids are fantastic. AJ is starting to read. The program at his school has been phenomenal. His teachers are amazing and we're all really proud of AJ and the effort he puts into learning. He loves to be praised and makes sure to do what is needed and expected of him in order to earn it. :) Jessah is my little queen. I would say princess, but she demands more than that. We're having a really hard time with potty training. I know, she's four. I think it is kind of a Middle Child Syndrome thing going on. It's either that, or a medical problem. I'm leaning towards the first. It's been really hard for her since Glaiden has required more physical attention and more teaching. Plus, AJ is going to preschool and I think she just feels a little left out. I'm working on that and we've done much better now than she was doing a month ago. Glaiden is ... oh boy. My tornado. He is all over the place, babbling and learning new words daily. Trying to keep up with the big kids and all in all... a nut. His new words are Joe Joe (doe doe - one of our dogs), Zeus (seus - another dog), kitty (key key), cracker (cracka), cookie, num num, dog, ruf, uh oh (not really new, just another meaning - blanket), Krystal (dyduh) and cheese! Yeah, those are my children... my crazies, but my life. I love them more than anything and I am definitely one proud mom.

I really can't believe it's been five months since I've posted anything. I hope I will post more often, now that I realize how much goes on in just a short time. No promises though. ; )

I played around on Facebook and watched a movie while I was writing this and it's now almost 1:15. I'm in my family room because I had to plug the laptop in to finish this, my husband is still snoring in the bedroom, I am completely exhausted with a huge headache on top of my cold, and I've probably rambled through half of this. I'm going to apologize profusely for that and I'm going to call it a night. Hope you all have a fabulous week, month, year or decade. (I have no clue if I'll be post before then, so I figured I'd cover my bases)

Goodnight and sleep tight!

Look At Him Go!!!

2009-10-02T14:34:00.002-06:00

Glaiden's First Haircut

2009-09-27T20:04:00.005-06:00

I thought I'd throw a few pictures of Glaiden's first haircut on here. He did suprisingly well for never having sissors or clippers anywhere near him. It was almost easier to cut his hair than it is to cut A.J.'s!

Here's a before shot... (best I could get anyway)

During....

The messy counter is due to putting every thing that belongs in the bathroom as far back on the counter so we can avoid Hurricane Glaiden...

What the heck is she doin' Dad?

And after...

All done!

Happy boy!

Short 'N Sweet

2009-09-23T15:51:00.002-06:00

I thought I'd post a really short update... it's about time anyway.

A.J. has been in his preschool now for almost 3 weeks and still gets so excited when I wake him up in the morning. He loves learning and is so eager to share what's new at school. The first week of school he learned the days of the week and the months of the year. They've also already started on reading. Every week about 8 flash cards are sent home as homework. Not letters though, they are pictures from the story they read. (The Mystery Book - its the reading program and they use this book the entire year) Each picture represents a sound, not a letter, and eventually by the end of the year, the picture is weened out of the flash cards and replaced with a letter....
Anyway, we go over these flashcards once a night and let me tell you this kid has a memory like an elephant - he never forgets. I can just tell him what the picture is and he knows the sound like it's something we've done for a year already. He's so willing to learn and I hope he stays that way. :)

Glaiden is walking - kind of. He can take quite a few steps on his own, but is just not quite brave enough to go any further than that. Well, either that or its just faster to crawl. Either way, he'll be running around with his big brother and big sister very soon... Heaven help us!
He will be one next month! I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. We're planning on a family party and of course his own cake. We're also planning on getting him blessed (Yes, we definately dropped the ball on this one, but we're getting it done!) the same morning of the party so everyone can just make one trip.

Not too much is new with the princess of the house. Jessah loves having time with just her baby brother 3 days a week. I think she feels left out when A.J. is home and playing with Glaiden... she just kind of sits on the side lines. It's been really good for her to get some alone time with Glaiden.

As for me and David... We're doing great. We got some time to ourselves last week and went to Lagoon for ICON's Lagoon Day. They closed down the park for the company and their families and fed us a good dinner. It was so much fun and so nice to get out. Our friend Krystal kept the kids overnight for us and we are SO grateful to her.

So there's a little update on us. :)

I've Got To Get Better At This

2009-09-06T12:55:00.005-06:00

Oops. My Bad. I'll get better at this, I hope. Hmm, now where to start? I'll just cover the basics, then if anything pops into my head later then I'll update again. :)

August seems like a whirlwind to me. I'm having a hard time thinking of what all happened. The Cache County Fair came and went. We went to the rodeo and hung out as a family, which is always a blast. I love going out with my family and we never have a bad time. Glaiden has his first licorice rope and LOVED it... as you can see.

Also, earlier this year, David drew out for a limited entry bow hunt for elk. He's entered in for this hunt ever since he was able to and this is the first year he drew out, so needless to say he's been looking forward to Opening Day since April. Well, the first weekend in August, he took A.J. up to the cabin (what an awesome man I have! Don't you think?) where he'd be staying to check out the tree cams and set up some things for the big day. A.J. was so excited for a chance to get out with just the boys and had a blast up at the cabin. They rode four-wheelers, hiked (David says A.J. out hiked them all!), shot their bow's and let A.J. take a few shots with a small bow... Check THIS out!

He loved being up there with David and learning how do shoot a bow so much, that for his birthday that's what he asked for.

Dave's been gone every weekend for his hunt - August 15th through September 11th - plus a little more the last two weeks. He left again yesterday for the rest of the week (or until he gets his trophy!) and I miss him already. It's not that bad during the day, and I find myself keeping really busy cleaning to try and keep my mind off of it. So far it works, except now everything is caught up, cleaned, organized, and - after this post - updated. Since he's been gone a lot more lately, we have come to appreciate eachother even more than before and have never been happier.

A.J.'s FIFTH birthday was September 3rd, and we had a party with some family and close friends the day before. He got his bow and arrow, (yes, it's a real one and has VERY strict rules, but not a day goes by that he hasn't said thank-you to me or David), a cowboy belt and buckle, a rubberband airplane, some movies, snacks, books, coloring stuff, Lightning McQueen shoes and clothes.

Which brings me to our next adventure. A.J. missed the cut off for Kindergarten by 2 days this year, so to keep him busy and not so left out that his neighbor friends are going and he's not, he will start at Read And Succeed Preschool this week and their open house was on the day of his birthday. He's so excited to be in a real Preschool environment with other kids, a teacher and to learn how to read. He can't wait. When I worked the kids went to daycare that provided preschool, so this is his 2nd year. We only enrolled A.J. so that he could have some alone time with other kids, and both he and Jessah will be able to get used to a little time away from eachother. :)

For now, that's all that I can think to update. I really do hope to be able to post a little more frequently about our family's happenings, but if not, you understand right?? I hope so.

July in Review

2009-07-31T12:33:00.010-06:00

Hang in there with me as I post some priceless pictures and update you on our busy July! I can't believe how fast time flies lately. My baby is going to be 10 months old in a little bit, just around the corner, my first baby is going to be FIVE, and my sweet little Bear is becoming more and more like a little lady every day.

THE FOURTH OF JULY

One of my best friends from high school (and junior high), Kim, and her kids came to visit for a long weekend over the 4th. We stayed busy by going to fireworks, the Cache Valley Cruisin' Car Show and parade, the Independence Day parade and the Willow Park Zoo. It was fun to have the kids together for the first time and they became pretty good friends! Here's a few pictures of our weekend.

(Our monkeys jumping on the bed!)

(Me and my little man at the fireworks... he LOVED them!)

(A.J. and Jessah at the zoo)

(Glaiden at the Car Parade... it was HOT)

(Brookie at the parade)

(Look at how small that car is!)

(Waiting "patiently" for candy!!!)

Our weekends inbetween the 4th and the 24th seemed busy and long. There was a UFC fight with friends and David's family that came up, a wedding of a dear friend of mine in Layton, and just a lot of go go go. The 24th, however, seemed like the never-ending day!

The 24th of July (Pioneer Days)

In Utah, the 24th of July is a statewide holiday celebrating the settling of our state. There's usually fireworks and booths set up at local parks, food, fun, family get togethers and rodeos.

Logan put on a Jr. Youth Rodeo on Saturday morning and A.J. decided that he wanted to ride a sheep! David and I knew that there was a big chance going in, that A.J. wouldn't do it. He'd maybe get on, and if he did he wouldn't want to be let loose. But we entered him in anyway (hey, there's only one way to find out if he'd do it or not right?) Well, time comes to start and A.J.'s name is the first one called to ride (yeah right!). We put him on and.... yep, he cried to be taken out. "I don't want to Mom!!" Ugh, go figure. So I asked, "Why don't we let someone else go first and you can see that it's not so bad? Then you can try again." He agreed.

So a little girl gets on this little sheep and rides. Not bad. The sheep ran along the gates and someone lifted her off. A.J. got on another sheep, they open the gate and.... the sheep bursts through and a little more than 1/2 way across the arena, he has the clowns chasing him as he falls off! Stands up and comes over to the fence to a lot of people cheering and clapping for him and a score of 68! He looks at David and said, "David! I'm a Cowboy now!" I was the proudest mom there! (A.J.'s 68 held out for about 3/4 of the sheep rides, and then the older kids came along and won, but he was awesome for his first time!)

(My Cowboy checkin' out the arena!)

Now for the fun.... or, I mean... you'll see.

After the rodeo, we went home for lunch, a nap, playtime and dinner. After dinner, we decided to head over to the park to check out the booths, slides and the band before the fireworks started. We had a couple of hours and after enough walking around, we parked it by the playground and sent A.J. and Jessah to go play. Having had enough stroller time, David and I decided to take the baby to the swings...

We went to check on the other 2 (in the same playground area, but we had moved the stroller a bit so I wanted to make sure they knew where we were) and Jessah was MIA... not just hard to find, because, believe me... I looked EVERYWHERE... 3 times. I decided to wander just a little bit and I over hear a police officer asking if someone had been looking for their daughter! ME!!! Uh, yeah, excuse me... that's my daughter! She had been looking for us but because we weren't in the same spot, she kept walking. Someone found her crying and calling for Mama, and (thank goodness) they took her to the nearest police officer. I've never been so relieved in my life! I thanked the officer profusly, Jessah gave him a hug, and we decided to get a little further away from the jam-packed park.

Oh, it's not over yet.....

So we went across the street where there was a much smaller park, no booths, no band, just blankets and chairs set up with people waiting for the fireworks. I played with Glaiden, Jessah, and A.J., took some pictures of my amazingly beautiful kids, and went and gave David the camera and a kiss. Go back to play with them and.... again! She was no where to be seen. I'm not kidding! I was turned around for 10 seconds (literally), and I couldn't find her, or hear her! I kept telling myself I was just paranoid, that I was still shaken up from the first time I lost her. But I looked and looked and looked. David got mad, (I'm pretty sure that's how he chose to be terrified) and we split up and went opposite ways around the play area. Really... there wasn't anywhere she could have vanished to! We looked for 10 minutes... yes, I timed it because I knew I was going to find her and I didn't want to jump to conclusions... I knew she wouldn't have run off again! I told David to stay by the park and I'd run find a police officer to help. (They were all across the street.) As I came up to the opposite park to find someone to help, the policeman spotted me first, pointed and said, "She's right there."

"What!? She came over here???" I asked. He continued to tell me that someone again found her yelling for Mama, and brought her across the street to the "missing kid station" (my nickname for it) I burst into tears as I picked her up and hugged her. They had given her some juice and a little piece of candy to calm her down until they could find me. I took her back to David and the other kids, we found our blanket and sat through the fireworks.

When we got home, got jammies on and ready for bed, I hugged each of my children especially tight and thanked my Heavenly Father for letting us live around such wonderful people. People who didn't take advantage of my daughter's innocence or trust and take her away from me to hurt her. People who did the right thing and took her to a safe place until I could be found. I was so thankful that she was home with me and not lost with some stranger and hurt. I love where we live and that Saturday assured me that this is an amazing place to raise my children.

We were able to spend time with my family for a couple of BBQ's for my brother, Kaesey, as he was home on leave before being deployed back to Iraq next month. It was good to see him, and fun to just spend some quality time with eachother.

That was our July in a nutshell.... in this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life!

A Family Really Needs Our Prayers

2009-07-26T13:37:00.002-06:00

MckMama is a smash in the blogging world (as I've recently come to know) but her world is in a massive whirl wind right now with her youngest boy, Stellan. Here's the link to the Her Blog. Little Stellan is struggling and can use every prayer he can get. His whole story is in there as well and WARNING: Once you start reading about this little man's life, even while still in his mama's tummy, you won't be able to stop. He's a bright star and one little man who has come to this world to help us all learn a thing or two about faith. Hang in there little MckMuffin!

Summer!

2009-06-27T23:37:00.006-06:00

Summer has finally decided to come to Logan!!! It's been extremely rainy these last few months and I'm so happy to say that it finally seems as summer is deciding to show up. As much as I love the warm weather, farmer's tans, sun burns, pools, vegetable gardens, camping and fireworks...for my parents, summer comes with the obligation (a fun one, but a job no less) of horse races all over Utah, Idaho and Wyoming...and then some. With kids and jobs, t-ball and horse races, seeing my family this summer tends to be more challenging than in the past. Luckily for us, my little sister, Mesia, came and stayed the weekend while our mom and dad were in Wyoming ... you guessed it... at the races. :)

We decided to take advantage of the change in weather and head up to Preston to go see some Mud Bogging.... Mud bogging?!? A bunch of supped up trucks racing through mud (mostly just semi-muddy trenches) for about 30 or 40 yards. It was fun for David and A.J. and really, really nice to get out of the house as a family. As thrilled as I was to go watch annoyingly loud trucks for 4 hours, the highlight of the outting for me was the "Dash for Cash." All the kids 12 and under could go and race eachother through the mud for cash. Cash, however, did not come home with us. Mesia gave it an amazing effort, but about 10-15 yards from the finish, one fatal step had her on her knees, you guessed it, stuck in the mud.

Once the excitment of the bogging came to an end, we decided to head home for an easy dinner and some sprinkler time.... No matter how much we loved to watch the kids race in thick, gooey, mud, there was no way they were coming in the house as muddy as they were! So we decided to hook the sprinkler up out back and let the kids de-mud themselves, and come in for a warm bath and a movie.

It was an amazing weekend with some of the people I love the most. Thanks, Mesia, for coming and lifting your sisters spirits a little, as I have missed you all so much lately! We love you tons and hope to see you soon... at the races of course!

Up and Running!

2009-06-19T12:38:00.005-06:00

Well, I know it's been a while since I've put a post up but I finally have a new computer so updates will be a little more regular (I hope).

Not only is the blog back up and running but so is our little man! Glaiden finally has crawling down... well, 50% of the time anyway. The other 50% of the time is more fun to watch though.

A.J. and Jessah played indoor soccer in May and absolutely loved it. It took Jessah a couple games to get used to it, but by the end of their season, she was right up there with the others. :)

The last week in May, we all took a trip to Illinois to see my mom. It was a trip that was well over due! With the large distance between us and the unfortunate economy taking it's toll on their family, it had been about 3 years since I've seen my mom and close to 4 since I've seen my step-dad, Neal and some other dear friends. We stayed 5 days and had a jam packed trip! We let my mom, step-dad and sisters have a packed day of babysitting while David and I went into Chicago with my brother Austin, and my friend Melissa. We visited the Sears Tower (I hear they changed the name but old habits die hard), Navy Pier (where we ate a yummy lunch at Bubba Gump Shrip Co.), and went on a tour around Chicago to see the history behind Al Capone and the mob. It was kinda neat to see Chicago that way, and a really entertaining tour. We had such a good time and it was really nice to get out and we were so greatful to my mom for watching the kids. We also visited Chuck-E-Cheese with my sisters and all the kids just for a little fun dinner. On Sunday we met up with Neal and Dana (My mom's ex husband and his wife), and a dear old friend Kristi who I haven't seen since we were in middle school! We went to the Shedd Aquarium which was amazing! I haven't been there since I was really little and it was fun to see all the sea life they have. A.J. and Jessah were amazed with everything and so curious! It was so fun and good to see old friends.

Since we got back, A.J. and Jessah really miss Grandma Lana, Grandpa Jerry, Aunt Liz and Aunt Katie. We call often and A.J. is convinced that when he is bigger (5) he is going to ride his bike over to Grandma Lana's house to see them all! We miss you all!

A.J. started t-ball earlier this month also. His team is the Indians - or I guess our team. Yeah, I got roped into coaching! Ahh! I'm a sucker, but I tell you what....I've gained a whole new respect for the brave people who coach pre-schoolers! They are a handfull, but it's really rewarding to hear them say, "Coach! Coach! Guess what I did today?" or "Coach! Did you see me hit!". It's definately a learning experience.

This Sunday is going to be David's first "official" Father's Day. The kids and I got him a card last year, because he is such a great father figure to them, but this year is different...He IS a dad to Jessah and A.J. He has 2 kids that came into his life and look up to him, and learn from him and adore him...and now we have Glaiden. Last year, it was important to me to recoginze father's day to him but this year, he know's that he is a dad to A.J. and Jessah, the same he is to Glaiden. I love him so much for opening up his heart to all of us and I try my hardest every day to let him know how much I appreciate him!

A Short Update

2009-05-04T18:07:00.001-06:00

Oh my goodness it's been a long time! My computer is junk and until we get a new one... it's rare that I can get downstairs to borrow these guys' computer. There's a lot to cover but David is upstairs taking care of an extremely fussy baby so I'm going to make this somewhat short.... sorry! Let's see since February huh? Okay.

Glaiden is doing really well. He's growing like a weed and even though he has had 3 ear infections in the last couple months, he's doing great. We've remodeled our upstairs, almost completely, with new carpet, tile, and coming soon counter tops. It looks amazing! A.J. and Jessah started soccer in April and their last game is this week. Jessah wasn't a huge fan at first, but she is getting the hang of it and scored her very first goal last Thursday! A.J. is one of the two team hot shots. Really. His average is 3 goals a game (granted, there are no goalies in 3-4 year old soccer games... more of a heard of colored shirts following a ball) and when the other team is down and being slaughtered... he's also the one to help them out with a goal. (Okay, maybe not intentionally, but when I bring it up to him that way, he thinks he's the nicest kid in the world!)

David and I are doing great. Things have never been better and I am so blessed to have him. I love him to death. He's an amazing dad not only to Glaiden, but to A.J. and Jessah as well. He's been working a lot, but we are so thankful that in these tough times, he has a job to go to. Also, we are looking into a new home! Probably buying one, but possibly building. Our house now is plenty big, in fact, big enough that we have renter's downstairs with a full kitchen and all. It's a weird split-level and we're just not comfortable with the bedrooms for the kids on a different level with it being so divided. We're just looking for now, but it's become a major comsideration, so we'll see. We will stay in the Cache Valley but maybe not in Logan. We love it here and love calling it our home.

Well, I have to run. Dinner, dirty kids, a frustrated dad, and a hungry baby are all calling for mom! I'll update again with pictures (hopefully!) as soon as I can!

A.J. and Glaiden's Check Ups!

2009-02-11T15:32:00.004-07:00

We went in today for Glaiden's four month check up and A.J.'s 4 year check up. Good news is that both of my boys are extremely healthy and right on track. Only downfall.... both are having some major dryness and skin irritation due to this horrible winter. Glaiden has excema pretty bad and something is going on on A.J.'s right leg... from his lower back, down his little butt, and then clear down to his foot. My mom and I are thinking it was some type of bug that was in his bed, or jammies or something like that, but the pediatrician says that it looks more like a rash or some type of other skin dryness/irritation. Who knows... we'll try some hydrocortizone ointment and hopefully that will clear it up.

Glaiden was my biggest baby as a newborn (8 lbs and 20.5 in. long) and he is proudly keeping up with that title. Today he is a whopping 18 pounds 12 ounces (97th percentile) and 27 inches long (also 97th percent) !! He's a very big four month old but very healthy. He had two shots today also and was mostly irritated... he cried for a minute but then was ok.

A.J. was my smallest (but longest) when he was born. He was 7 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long. Today he's 38 lbs (50th percentile) and 41 1/2 inches tall (50th percentile). Today they also tested his sight with shapes and he has 20/30 vision out of both eyes. He tried to cheat a little when he couldn't see the smaller ones and take the cover off of his eye, but he did pretty good. :) He's completely in the clear until he needs his shots for Kindergarten. He will start Kindergarten in the 2010/2011 school year... I can't believe how big he is... or how smart. He is like a sponge. I mean the kid is so eager to learn and has a memory like an elephant. He is my grocery list... when I tell him what we're going for, he remembers it all and reminds me of what I'm forgetting. He will be so good in school and I think he's going to absolutely LOVE it.

Anyway, I just thought I would give an update on my boys. Jessah's doing well and I'm scheduling her for an appointment in April when I take Glaiden in for his 6 month shots. I'm trying to get her all caught up on everything. We got a little behind with all the moving around so I'll keep you updated on her stats here in a couple months. Stay tuned!

First Food...

2009-02-08T12:03:00.003-07:00

I attempted to give Glaiden some baby oatmeal the other day and it didn't go over very well so today I tried some of the rice cereal.... big hit for our little man! He probably doesn't really need to eat the cereal yet, but I figured I'd see how he liked it. We're going to just start with once a day and see how it goes. :) I can't believe he'll be 4 months old tomorrow! It goes by SO fast! Below is a day old picture of Glaiden and a picture I took today... He's changed so much!

Super Bowl Party

2009-02-08T11:38:00.004-07:00

On Sunday, we decided to throw a Super Bowl party with some friends and family. At first, we weren't really planning on anything big, but then everyone we ran into was invited and most of them showed up! So a small group turned into a packed house with a couple poker games. :) Our guests included my parents (Chet and Mishie), my brother (Logan) and sister (Mesia), cousin Ashton, her hubby Casey and little Kodee; Krystal, her boyfriend Brett, her daughter Berklee, Tara and her hubby Chad, David's friends Ricky, Mike, Wayne, Donnie and his daughter Hailee.

All the guys with their 3D glasses on during the first poker game.... Way to go Daddy! Winner of game one!

Brett, Krystal, Glaiden and Casey in between games. Aww. :)

Game 2 - Some of the girls joined in this game. I lucked out and won! Woo Hoo - $35.

Me, my Uncle Guy and cousin Ashton.

Like I said, the guys spent most of their time at the table playing poker while the ladies hung out, watched a little of the game, and chatted. The kids ran around and had a blast playing their little hearts out!

Donnie's daughter Hailee pooped out early... she was playing hard!

Play Date

2009-01-30T13:53:00.005-07:00

I got a call from our neighbor Alicia today asking if we wanted to go with her and her two kids, Garrett and Cole, to the church for a play date... Are you kidding?!?! After months of feeling cooped up and all the kids around being sick, finally, we get a chance to play! I quickly got myself and the kids ready to go over to the church and we headed through the back yard and down a block to the church. We got there and the neighbor that lives behind us had a great activity for pre-schoolers. We took the plastic film canisters (not the ones with the grey caps but the white ones) and filled them 1/3 the way up with water, drop in an alkaseltzer tablet, snap the lid back on and set it up side down on the floor. The alkaseltzer works it's magic and it's a great bottle rocket! A.J. loved it but Jessah thought it was a little too loud. She liked watching them fly, but no too close. We spent a good hour or hour and a half playing "blast off!" I tried to take more pictures but I forgot to empty my lousy memory card in my camera.... oops.

All the kids lined up because at first we thought this would be easiest... come to find out, the kids all would get up, chase their "rockets", and we had a little bit of chaos....

Angie trying to explain to A.J. the order he had to do it.... water, then tablet...a.k.a. rocket fuel, then lid, then upside down.... it took about 2 times then A.J. was a pro.

A.J. and Jessah both watching their rockets patiently before the first time they launched.... and it was the last for Jessah... below is how she spent the remainder of our time there.

All in all it was a good afternoon out where the kids got to play with our sweet neighbors we haven't seen enough of this winter!

Birthday Girl!

2009-01-25T11:41:00.007-07:00

Our Princess

Yesterday (January 24th) was Jessah's birthday and we had a little party at our place with some family and friends. We had some chicken noodle soup and biscuits to keep us all warm and of course cake and ice cream.

I can't believe she's three! She's gotten so big and is learning to be Little Miss Independent.

She decided to get in just about all of her dress up clothes she got. She couldn't choose just one, so she put them all on!

One of our birthday party guests was little Miss Kodee Lynn Greene. She's about four months older than Glaiden but because she's so little and Glaiden is so big, they're really close to the same size! We thought it'd be cute for a picture of them in the big kids' chairs but as you can see.... he didn't think it was that great of an idea.

Jessah and her Peepaw. She loves him and was SO excited that Peepaw, Meemaw, Aunt Mesia and Uncle Logan we're at her party. It took her a long time to fall asleep the night before because she was so anxious to see them all!

Pictures of Kids

2009-01-23T11:18:00.005-07:00

Ok, so in my desperate attempt to figure this out I'm posting today to master the art of being able to post pictures. So here's a few of the more recent pictures of the kids.... wish me luck!

A.J. and Jessah love having their picture taken, however, notice that I'm holding their hands down... That's to prevent the ever-so-popular...

and...

Here's a more recent picture of Glaiden. He's now 3 1/2 months old. I'm not quite sure what he weighs (I'll find out again at his 4 month check-up). I do know this... as of his 2 month check-up he weighed 14 lbs 9 oz. and was 24 inces long. As for all the new babies in the ward born in 2008 he's the biggest compared to the others at their 2 month check up! Doctor says he's just an extremely healthy boy... for which I am extremely thankful.

I feel very blessed to have such amazingly beautiful children!

Here We Go

2009-01-22T20:35:00.003-07:00

Okay. So I'm going for it. I'm going to attempt this but I am making no promises yet! I decided that since I love reading everyone else's blogs and being able to see their families grow, or to see what they have to say about our ever-changing world that it was only fair to share with them as well! So here's a little bit of what my life has been like the last few years.

I was married the beginning of 2004 to a man named James Watkins. We were married for 2 1/2 years and had two children together, Austin James (A.J.) and Jessah. In July of 2006 we separated and by October we had divorced... and it was a good thing. Not to say that in a mean, it was all his fault, type of way, but it was definitely one of those things in life that turned out to be inevitable. I was too young, not happy and married him for wrong reasons. Although I never like to say that I regret anything... after all I did get 2 absolutely beautiful kids while we were married... but it definitely turned my life in a whole different direction.

After the divorce I moved out to Preston, Idaho and finally here to Logan. I've met some amazing people along the way and have become especially close to a few. My cousin, Ashton married and now lives in Preston with her husband and baby girl Kodee Lynn and we are closer now than we ever have been. Her niece Krystal is one of my very best friends and without her, life would be totally different. I love her like a sister and her little girl Berklee like my niece. (I mention these people here because they're such a big part of our lives that I'm sure to mention them in the future)

Since I moved to Logan in August of 2007 I met David Behrens. He's originally from the Salt Lake area and moved up to Logan for work. He works in the research and development department of ICON Health and Fitness. He is a fabricator and extremely good at what he does for a living. We met in September of 2007 and after a lot of playing hard to catch we ended up together and have never been happier. We had a little boy, Glaiden Lee Behrens, on October 9, 2008. The name comes from David's uncle, Glade. David was very close to Glade growing up and wanted to name our son after him so we came up with our own version of it.

A.J. and Jessah's dad isn't really in the picture a lot these days. A lot has gone on in the last year or so and they haven't really seen him much but David is an amazing person and loves my oldest 2 the same way he loves his Glaiden. :)

Well, I'll leave that brief history of us as it is for now as I'm sure it's more than most really wanted to know... and I need to get the baby in bed! Jessah's birthday is on Saturday so I'll try my best to keep up with this and post pictures.

Goodnight for now!