Really? Yeah, Really.

The idea for this post has been floating around in my head for a week (scratch that, two weeks now - and I really need to not procrastinate anymore but I'll get to that later.) I kind of put it off because it was a Monday and I thought Oh relax. It's just an off day... that's all. I was pretty upset when Monday rolled around again this week... Seriously? Another one? I decided that it's not an off day... it's how Monday's for mom's are supposed to be.

Moms. I love being a mom. I don't mind any of my Mom names: mom, mommy, mamamamama, or just mama. MMMOOOOOMMMM gets annoying once in a while, but I'm getting used to it.

The gist. I have come to the point of being a mom where I finally took a deep breath and said, "Roll with it, because this is just what it is." What's the it you ask? It is motherhood. Of course it's fantastic, rewarding, thrilling, exciting, busy, and all in all, amazing. But. (Yes, there's a but.) It can also be depressing, annoying, disappointing, dramatic, sad, exhausting, and disgusting. Even if you don't want it to be that way - to bad, so sad, Charlie. We are not perfect and therefore, cannot raise our kids to be perfect.

Well, perfect is the wrong word, I think. Raising children is definitely a day-to-day challenge. It doesn't always work as well as we'd like. Or as smoothly as we'd like it to for that matter.

Example(s) that every mom needs to admit, and that every future mom should expect:

Did I ever in a billion lifetimes think that MY kid would be that whiny? Nope. I won't give him/her a reason to be.

Did I ever think that I would let my daughter have out of control hair when we went to the store? Ha ha. NO. I was always good at doing hair. I love it. I have some super cute ways to do hair. I sometimes even shook my head when mothers went shopping and their daughters' hair wasn't done. How hard is it? Really?
I'm really sorry for that, by the way. I understand now.

Did I ever think that my kids would be in pants that were a little bit too short? Um, negative. Do you know how fast they grow? Do you know how fast that $$ adds up?

Did I ever in a million-trillion years think that I would lose my cool like MY mom did* when I did something wrong?** No. Not me. I didn't like it, so why would I do that?
*when you're little - your mom loses her cool. When you are a mom and you look back. You think - wow, how did she put up with me?
**as in something she told me over and over and over again not to do because of such and such a reason and I did it anyway. Probably repeatedly. Sorry Mom.

Did I think that I would make wrong decisions? Well...probably. I thought that things would come to me naturally though. It would be hard, but I'd think before I acted. Oops.

Do I like the fact that I have zero capability to keep the laundry folded at all times? No, as a matter of fact, I wish I liked folding laundry, but I don't. In fact it's more often than not that my laundry is out on my coffee table, in my living room, unfolded. If you really expect to be in a spotless home when you come over, give me a warning that you're on your way and a heads up that you don't want to see my unfolded (albiet clean) laundry in my family room and dirty dishes in the sink and I will give it a good go, but I can't promise anything.

Did I think that I'd be in the store with my 18 month old and a gross nose? No, but if you want to hear the blood curtling scream while you use the strenght of 10 men to hold his head still and pick the mess out of his nose so it stops running and looking gross for the 5 seconds that you look at my son - have a go, but if you break his neck trying to hold him still - I will break yours.

Did I think that my 4 year old wouldn't be potty trained at 4? No. As far as I was concerned, they'd have it down at 18 months. 2 years at the oldest. Ahahahahaha!

Is life really unfair? Is there really a rule that can exempt you because "You're the mom?" YEP. There sure is. It's called the sanity rule. Kids are to eat cereal or a real breakfast in the morning. Sometimes doughnuts and poptarts and leftover pizza are ok. But only mom's and dad's are allowed to eat brownies, cake or cookies for their breakfast. Because we're the parents... that's why.

- P*A*U*S*E - Baby emergency. AKA He's not going to bed like my 18 month old should. He needs mom to rock him to sleep - still. So what?

-P*L*A*Y - Next Morning. So he slept in my bed until 3 AM. Did I want him to? No. Did I need him to? YES. Momma needs her sleep.

Sorry folks, that was the procrastinating that I talked about in the first part of my little schpeel. I get distracted and it takes a bit to get back to what I was trying to do. It happens. I thought that even with kids, I'd be able to get things done on time. That one was just bad judgement. I have always been a procrastinator... that's a hard habit to outgrow even, er, I mean especially with kids.

And for my most miserable Mom Moment... (Yes - you'll get them - and I know this wasn't my last) Remember this miserably long post?? Read the last paragraph of that novel and know that once - maybe even twice... ahem... in one day, you will lose a child. If you don't... feel very blessed. As easy as it is, and as innocent as it usually will be, it is by far one of the worst, most unbearable point as a parent to not know where your child is... but it happens!

We're not perfect. We can't stop every bad thing that might happen. We can't always make them get along with other kids. Sometimes they won't say please or thank you. They will draw (with pen, crayons and/or marker - sometimes permanent on your somewhat new and pretty and always clean (hahaha) furniture/walls/doors/back of the seat in the truck and themselves. They'll hang from a tree with every little ounce of strength that they have when they've been told, and told and told again that that's probably not the safest tree to climb. They will nap when you don't want them to and then be awake all night some nights. They will sleep in your bed when you swore to yourself they never would and cry just because - just like we do. They'll fight, hit, bite, yell, say they hate you and stomp down the stairs and yes, (you were right Mom and Dad) it is an attitude, and it is NOT ok. Even when they're little.

Always remember though, Mom... that when they are hanging from that tree, or calling your name in the park, they are calling YOUR name. They need you. They are looking for MOM and for comfort that you bring to them. Even after you yell at them or put them in time out. It's amazing... Being a mom. Kids are so forgiving for all of the small mistakes that we make. (And there's a lot of them)

As mom's, we need to remember that there are going to be hundreds of thousands of times in the years that we raise kids (and I've only been doing it for 5 1/2 years, ugh) that we will make mistakes, jump to wrong conclusions (and never admit that they were the wrong one), lose you're cool, and completely lose your common sense. Sometimes, you will probably want to go to work instead of stay home with your kids. (Just admit it. It's really, really, really okay.... there's times you miss the adult conversations). Sometimes you just want a day to yourself. Sometimes you need to lock yourself in the bedroom for 5 (possibly 15) minutes and re-teach yourself how to breathe. It's ok. Promise. I'm not crazy, I think I'm just writing what every mom thinks once in a while. (Probably more than that, but you can tell yourself once in a while if you want)

I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. The kids aren't perfect. This life just isn't perfect. But I'm pretty sure that it's not supposed to be. Wouldn't it be boring? We'd have no emotion. We would get excited about having all the laundry done. We wouldn't be happy when the kids went to bed on time. We wouldn't need vacations, or romantic weekends...Just so you know, I like vacations. I like them so much that I have a mini one every night that I go to work. It's a break from my reality and it's good for me. I like romantic weekends with my husband and no kids. I didn't marry him for the kids. I married him for me and them. Sometimes I want him all to myself and I'm pretty sure that that is okay.

Remember that it's all part of being a mom.